7 Stages of Kawhi Grief

So there we have it — the answer to our year-long he stay/he go debate has finally arrived. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions since Kawhi Leonard signed with the Clippers. Join us on this journey through the 7 Stages of Kawhi Grief.

SHOCK & DENIAL

Around 7am or so on Saturday, I got up from bed to get a glass of water. My wife was awake on the couch in the living room reading off her laptop. She saw me. Smiled. I went back to back for another hour or so.

When I woke up again for good around 8:30am, I checked my phone. Kawhi Leonard had signed with the Clippers. Paul George was also on his way to the Clippers. WTF! Also, OKC and Toronto potentially discussed a scenario where George and Russell Westbrook would have been Toronto bound. I needed to get up. I needed to learn more.

I immediately got up from bed and went into the living room. I said to my wife “holy shit — Kawhi left”. My wife said “I know. I knew when you came into the living room an hour or so ago. I just didn’t want to tell you. I wanted you to have another hour or two of feeling anything was possible with Kawhi”.

My wife made the right call. But still the news couldn’t possibly be true. Didn’t he enroll his daughter in a Toronto area private school? Didn’t he just buy an estate in the Yonge and York Mills area? I thought Jalen Rose was 99% sure Leonard was returning? What the fuck was the MLSE plane doing on that trip to San Diego? These reports couldn’t all be wrong could they?

PAIN

They were wrong. They were all wrong. As I read all the Woj reports and Zach Lowe and Ramona Shelbourne pieces, the reality of the situation was settling in. We had just lost Kawhi Leonard.

We very well knew this was a possibility. Leonard returning was always in doubt. But we load managed him and helped him win a title. It hurts that he decided to leave despite everything that we offered him. The Kawhi Recruitment Plan went according to plan. Hell, it went better than anyone could have imagined. It also seemed that the one lock to keeping Kawhi was winning a title. We went out and won the whole damn thing and he still decided to leave. It hurts. I can be proud of our title and feel hurt at the same time. It’s not black and white. We are complex animals capable of multiple emotions.

I also have to say it was an absolute treat watching Kawhi play. We got to experience what it was like having a genuine generational star player whose mere presence makes you a legit title contender. I’m going to miss watching that level of excellence night in and night out (well, except for the nights he load managed of course).

Leonard leaving also means that we probably aren’t going to get the Christmas Day game that Raptors fans have long wanted as a sign of respect and validation from the league. It also means that Masai Ujiri may decide to tear down instead of running it back with what we have left — and potentially being a pesky first or second round out. Which means there is a very good chance that when we hang the banner, that Lowry, Ibaka, or Gasol might not be around.

Essentially, I’m just sad that we didn’t get a chance to genuinely defend the title.

ANGER

Look, I totally understand that Kawhi absolutely owed us nothing. He was traded here. He didn’t choose us. He acted like a professional; never made a stink about being traded somewhere he didn’t asked to be traded too. Instead, he came in, gave us the best season of our lives, and vanished in the night.

But you know what? Fuck Kawhi! (Not really though. I love you Kawhi. Thanks for the title).

((But really…fuck Kawhi!))

Part of the joy of winning a title is not just the spoils of the moment. It’s the spoils of the following season as well. Opening night when we hang the banner, the reason we won the title is not going to be there. That’s just sad! And now you’re telling me that Lowry might not be there either if Ujiri decides to tear down! What the fuck!

We were supposed to be the defending champions all year! Not for like three weeks. Now we are relegated to a rebuild or a first or second round exit depending on what Ujiri does. Leonard turned us into a one-hit wonder. Opposing fan-bases are going to laugh at us when we are referred to as the defending champions.

Now, when we are at our lowest after losing the best player in the association, the chances of being scheduled on Christmas Day go from most likely to no chance in hell. What the fuck!

Look, it’s hard to be mad at Kawhi after leading us to a title. He never chose us; he was traded here. But, when he finally had the chance to choose us he decided to pack his bags and head home. Kawhi really picked weather/lifestyle over Masai Ujiri and the chance to defend the title (the Raptors would have been the favourites to repeat if Leonard had stayed).

Leonard repeatedly said that his health and winning are the two most important things to him. We checked both boxes. But Leonard really chose weather over a potential northern dynasty (fuck him! But thanks for the title!)

Greatest season ever (fuck him still)!

REFLECTION & BARGAINING (ROCK BOTTOM)

As a Raptors fan, we have never had a player like Leonard before. We have had star players before but not a generational talent.

What happens now?

It also feels almost cruel that he left — especially after all the bread crumbs of clues he left behind indicating his intention to stay in Toronto. But he did leave. We will mourn it. We will feel disappointed. But we will move on. And when he returns to Toronto he will get a standing ovation all across Canada because he took us somewhere we never thought was possible.

Before Kawhi, getting to the Finals never really seemed possible. It was almost like if we speak it maybe it will happen (like we did for the past five seasons with DeRozan leading the team) but we never really believed it now did we?

Leonard single-handedly showed us that this is possible. That winning big in Toronto is possible.

But it also looks like Toronto never really had a chance in the Kawhi sweepstakes. The delay in signing was not some perceived advantage but rather him buying time for the Clippers to land Paul George. We were used as leverage. Our hopes and excitement that he would return were simply used as leverage. This is another reminder that the NBA is a cold cold cold business.

Also, if we are going to trade Lowry, can we at least trade him for Andrew Wiggins? Maybe Wiggins just needs a fresh start. Maybe playing for his hometown team will inspire a Victor-Oladipo-kind-of-spark in him. Bring Maple Jordan home! You’re telling me the Raptors can’t help Wiggins reach his draft night potential? Sign me up! If Kawhi wanted to go to California, then let’s bring Wiggins home to Canada. Who knows — maybe the Wolves might even throw in an additional asset and/or draft considerations for Lowry.

Also, fuck it, let’s bring Vince Carter home too while we are it. It will give the fan-base something to rally around and will help ease the pain of losing perhaps the best player in the association.

WORKING THROUGH

Even though Leonard left, we are still in great shape. We still have World Champion and Most Improved Player Pascal Siakam to build around. We have playoff folk hero Fred VanVleet ready to build around once Lowry transitions out of being an All-Star. We have OG Anunoby who you can bet will have something to prove next season after having a season marred by starts and stops.

We also have tons of expiring contracts. We have options. We can tear down and build around Siakam, FVV, & OG. We can also run it back and have a nostalgia tour before parting ways with Lowry, Ibaka, and Gasol. Or, we can bring those three players back on cheaper deals as role players around a burgeoning Siakam.

But most importantly we have Masai Ujiri. Do not doubt this man. He will find a way to get the next “Kawhi Leonard” whoever that may be. Also, I can guarantee you that Leonard leaving has put a huge fucking chip on Ujiri’s shoulder. There is some whiteboard somewhere with a path to another championship — and Masai is already prepping his path forward.

ACCEPTANCE

That run to the 2019 title — whether for the younger generation or those paying attention on the periphery for years — grabbed everyone’s full attention. It created a moment in Canadian history that will be part of the cultural fabric moving forward. This Finals run had moments that will be remembered in the same vein as Touch ’em all, Joe and The Bat Flip and The Donaldson Dash. We can now add the Four Bounce Special and The Dunk on Giannis to the list of moments that Toronto sports fans will remember for the rest of their lives. I’ll miss that we won’t have more of these moments courtesy of Leonard. But I am glad that we got to experience them.

I was in the building for close to 25 Raptors games this season. It was the best season I have ever experienced as a fan. I was there when Leonard hit the buzzer beater against Philly and I was there when we won the East. I will remember those moments for the rest of my life.

I will remember Kawhi’s greatness.

HOPE

We all know the real plan is to sign Giannis in 2021 right? Light years ahead baby! Also, fuck Kawhi!

Until next time…

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